definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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