Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
