2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
