I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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