who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
