I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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