exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
