I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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