DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
