u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
