it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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