i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
