I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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