used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize