doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
