I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
