we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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