I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
