guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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