Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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