Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
