guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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