She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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