Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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