moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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