I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize