her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
