This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
