It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
