Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i've created a new STD.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
