My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
