I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
