I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
