I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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