Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize