Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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