Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Someone came in the potted fern
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
