How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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