Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
