how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
