my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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