i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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