sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
