Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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