Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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