I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
