took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Green mimosas i think yes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
