the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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