You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
