he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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