So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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