i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
