HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it's great music for shaving your balls
How's work?
Spinning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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