i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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