My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
