All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
