An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
